Must-have products for dementia caregivers

Here are the must-have products for dementia caregivers. Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s or memory loss is very difficult. These items make it easier.

Dealing with a loved one’s dementia, Alzheimer’s or other memory loss issues can take a serious toll on caregivers. Dealing with both their physical and mental difficulties can be overwhelming for those who are suddenly thrust into the role of caregivers.

I know. I’ve been there.

We were dementia caregivers for a number of years.

My mother-in-law, Janette, was diagnosed with vascular dementia. She was able to live in an independent living facility for a time, but she had frequent falls. The last fall resulted in a pretty serious neck fracture, so we moved her to a memory care assisted living facility. She did well there for a time, but she continued to experience frequent falls. Because it was a 65-bed facility and was not designed to have enough staff for individual patient care, we decided that it was in my mother-in-law’s best interest to have round the clock care.

So, we moved her in with us.

At that time my husband and I and our 3 kids (ages 12, 10, and 7) were living in a 3-bedroom rental. We bought a trundle for under the bunk beds and moved my 7-year-old son in with the girls, giving Grandma her own room. We had this situation for 7 months until we moved into our new, bigger home.

The kids finally got their own rooms upstairs and we converted the downstairs den into Grandma’s bedroom. There was a full bath with a walk-in shower right across the hall and we continued this way for another 2 years until my mother-in-law needed more assistance than we could give.

We were very fortunate to find a very small memory-care assisted living facility less than 15 minutes from our home. It was a converted lovely ranch-style home in a quiet neighborhood, and it only held 6 residents, so the patients got more assistance than a larger facility. Janette lived in this facility for her last 3 years.

But I want to share the tips we learned and items we found most helpful during the time that we were my mother-in-law’s full-time dementia caregivers in the hopes that they help you, too.

Taking care of someone with both mental and physical issues is challenging, exhausting, lonely, rewarding, and fulfilling all at the same time.

First, just so you know, this page contains some affiliate links to Amazon. If you click through and make a purchase, I may receive a commission (at no additional cost to you). However, I am only mentioning products I love and would recommend whether I was being compensated or not. Click here to see my full disclosure policy.)

Medical and safety – what dementia caregivers need to know

Legal stuff

First of all, get the correct legal designation to be able to talk to doctors and handle medications. My husband was his mother’s health care surrogate. (You also want to make sure there is some sort of power of attorney in place in order to pay any bills or having access to the patient’s finances.)

Organized calendar.

There will be lots of doctors appointments. Regular physician, neurologist, and perhaps other specialists. I recommend getting a nice large calendar to keep track of all the appointments. Take it with you to appointments so you don’t overbook on future appointments. The one I use has nice large squares. See it here.

If you need help getting organized be sure to get our free guide of 10 fast and easy ways to get organized for under $10 👇

Pill box

There will probably also be a lot of medications. Invest in a weekly am/pm pill box. On Sunday, my husband would distribute the medications so the box would be ready to go for the week and we could see at a glance when we needed to give Janette her meds.

Baby monitor

I cannot emphasize enough how much this one item saved our sanity! We hooked up the old baby monitor we had when the kids were little in her bedroom so we could hear my mother-in-law if she called out during the night or while I was in another part of the house. If she was sitting comfortably in her recliner, I could run out to get the mail or go upstairs with laundry and not worry about her because I carried the monitor with me. Today, monitors are much more sophisticated, with video screens, but ours was a simple one that was just for sound, and it worked great for us.

Patient cleanliness tips for dementia caregivers

At meals

Adult bibs were very helpful for meals. We had several and I always kept one in the car in case we needed one while out. They are washable and have a plastic backing so liquids don’t soak through. They are easy to put on because they attach with Velcro.

A spill-proof plastic water bottle with straw and measurements.

The doctors stressed the importance of keeping patients hydrated, so we always had water within reach. A straw is much easier to use than an open container and having the measurements on the bottle itself is a great way to keep track of water intake. These are also great because they have a handle and are easier to hold. We had several of these bottles, and again, I always kept one in the car for when we were out.

Personal hygiene

Keeping a patient clean is important for their health. Using hypoallergenic wipes helped with toileting, as well as Depends that could be easily changed. We also used children’s bedwetting pads on her bed, in case of leakage overnight, so we wouldn’t have to change bedding after cleaning her up. Because older folks’ skin can become very fragile and irritated, we tried to use fragrance-free products as often as possible.

Bathing

We bathed my mother-in-law in our walk-in shower. There was a shower seat for her to sit on and used a hand-held sprayer to direct the spray. We held a washcloth up to her forehead to keep the soap out of her eyes.

I have a friend who is a hairstylist and for her clients who can’t lean back to have their hair shampooed at her salon sink, she uses a plastic cap that drains the soap and water into the sink while they sit upright. We never used this, but it might work for you.

Here is another one that is similar but more sturdy…

This shower seat is even better than the one we had because it comes with a tote bag to hold supplies and has a hook to hold the shower hose:

Attaching suction cup handholds to the shower walls helped tremendously. They held securely and could be easily repositioned and locked into place. She could help us help her stand up and she could hold on while we were toweling her dry. I would have her sit on her walker or wheelchair while I dried her hair.

Sometimes, though, it wasn’t possible to give her a full shower. Either she was too weak or I was there alone with her, so I would use non-rinse soap wipes and dry shampoo. These worked great and were recommended by her doctor. Note: We were also told about shampoo caps that hospitals and nursing homes use that look just like a shower cap. The soap is right in the cap and is mess-free. I’ve included a link here if you’d like to check them out, but we never used them for Janette.

After meals or when I noticed Janette’s hands were dirty (she would, unfortunately, pick her skin, creating scabs, and then pick those in an endless cycle), I would use a small mixing bowl with warm water and hand soap to wash her hands and under her nails using a washcloth and nail brush while she was sitting at the table or in her recliner. To distract her from the picking, I would occasionally have her wear soft mittens or gloves. She enjoyed the texture and it would keep her occupied.

Clothing

We found it very helpful to have Janette wear zippered housecoats and buttoned-up shirts and elasticized pull-on slacks. They were comfortable for her and were so much easier to get her into than trying to pull on other types of clothing.

Since she would constantly try to untie her shoelaces, quite often in the house we would have her wear safety no-slip socks and no shoes. You know, the kind you get in the hospital that have little rubber beads on the bottom so they are not so slick.

She also had several afghans and coverups that kept her comfortable. Her favorite was a sleep sack that had a foot pocket at the bottom to keep her feet warm, made by a friend of hers. We would keep that in her recliner and it was easy to wrap it around her or take it off. It was similar to a “Snuggie“ or “Pedi-pocket.”

Here’s Janette in her sleep sack interacting with my husband (her son) 🙂

Moving them around – tips to save dementia caregivers’ backs

It was a real challenge for me to help my mother-in-law get around. She was much taller than me and weak, so she could be a dead weight when trying to sit down in a chair or on the toilet. Her physical therapist recommended a gait belt and it was wonderful! It’s a sturdy cloth belt that allows you to hold on to them in the back and help guide them as they walk. It also helps you to lower them into and lift them out of a sitting position without hurting their arms or your back!

For a long time, Janette used a walker in the house. It folded up, was lightweight, and was easily transported in our van.

This is what we used. It was especially helpful to have a seat in case she suddenly felt faint.

But after a while, as she became weaker, we took to using a wheelchair when we would go out to church or doctor appointments.

I quickly discovered that a regular wheelchair is HEAVY! It was bulky and really hard for me to load and unload it from our van, and it really hurt my back doing so.

So, we got a travel wheelchair. It only weighed 19 pounds (less than my 21-pound Jack Russell dog!), had smaller back wheels, folded up easily and was more compact, all of which made it easier to navigate in elevators, narrow sidewalks, and doctor’s offices. You could use or remove the footrests and it had a safety belt. This is a MUST!

Getting in and out of the car

When it became very difficult to get my mother-in-law in and out of the car, we talked with her doctor and got a handicapped hangtag that allowed us to park in handicapped parking when she was in the vehicle. It made it MUCH easier to get her in and out of a wheelchair this way.

Not only was maneuvering the wheelchair sometimes tricky, but simply getting her out of the van could be difficult.

So, we bought a door handle extender that adds a grab bar, which makes it much easier for someone to push themselves up and out of the seat, especially if you are helping by using the gait belt. This extender was such a BIG help and very inexpensive and you simply hook it on the U-shaped piece by the door and remove it when you’re done. Easy peasy.

Furniture that makes it much easier on dementia caregivers

Along the same lines, her physician recommended we get 2 items of furniture. I know furniture can be a big expense, but her Medicare did help pay for these and they were such a big help.

We got an adjustable hospital bed. As I mentioned, she was very tall and as she got weaker it got harder and harder to get her out of bed. Using a hospital bed made it easy to sit her up. Then I could dress her right there and once her gait belt was on, it was very easy to help her stand up and either go right to her walker or wheelchair.

We also got a motorized lift chair recliner. Of course, it was expensive, but it was worth it because it helped lift her up gently from a sitting to standing position and vice versa, and helped us from straining our backs, too.

Mental and physical activities for dementia caregivers to do with patients

Photos

We got an inexpensive digital picture frame and filled it up with hundreds of photos of family, friends, and places my mother-in-law had lived and traveled to. As time went by, she seemed to enjoy and recognize those people and places from many years ago, so make sure you include those. Don’t have a scanner? Simply take a picture of the old photographs with your smartphone or digital camera and transfer it to the digital frame.

Side note: As a professional organizer, I also recommend doing this for senior citizens who are downsizing and moving into a smaller place where they can’t bring a lot of furnishings with them. A digital picture frame holds up to 1,000 photos. So they can take pictures of items they can’t bring with them, but still have a record of them.

Sensory Stimulation

Busy mat. As I mentioned, my mother-in-law craved physical stimulation. She zipped and unzipped her housecoat constantly, untied and un-Velcroed her shoes over and over, and continually picked at her skin and nails. To be honest, it was very hard to watch and hear at times and really drove us crazy.

Do you remember as a kid having a busy mat, that had ties, buttons, and a clock with hands that spun around? I decided to create something similar for her.

I made a busy mat with different textures like faux fur, metallic, smooth, rough, crinkly, and soft fabrics, and things to do like zip a zipper, undo Velcro, and button buttons. Of course, I made sure everything was firmly attached and safe for her. She enjoyed using it and it kept her hands busy and active.

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Games. A great game to help with coordination and hand-eye movement (and just fun!) is hitting a balloon back and forth using pool noodles. We called it “noodle ball!”They did this at her memory-care facility and my kids had a lot of fun playing this with grandma while she sat in her recliner.

This is not the greatest photo in the world, but you can (barely) see that my daughter and Janette are holding their pool noodles and watching the ball.

Also check local yard sales for toy kitchen sets (that have plastic food) and plastic cookware and utensils, baby dolls, stuffed animals like a cat or dog or a play ironing board and iron. Sometimes these familiar objects will bring back fond memories as they use them.

Music and talking

As a long-time librarian, I know the fabulous selection of audiobooks available out there. They can be checked out from your local library for several weeks for FREE. All you need is a CD player. Or you can have them listen to podcasts on their favorite topics.

My son had to read 20 minutes every night, and he’d pull up a chair and read his stories to grandma. Other times he’d hand her his Nintendo DS and let her scribble on the screen to “color.” I think they both enjoyed that.

Here’s grandma creating a masterpiece on the DS, while we waited yet again at a doctor’s office. 🙂

We’d play the past Sunday’s sermon podcast from church, which my MIL really enjoyed. She also enjoyed watching game shows! She couldn’t answer the questions, but I think she enjoyed the bright colors of the sets and excitement of the contestants! 🙂 Download mp3s, use iTunes or create a Pandora station with their favorite music. Or simply sing to them! Many dementia patients respond better to familiar music than anything else!

Just for you, dementia caregivers!

You may feel as if you can never relax and that you are “on call” 24/7. I know we felt that way. Please take some time to have some time for you.

My husband and I took turns with her care. When he got home from work, I would get to go to the grocery store ALL BY MYSELF. What a treat!

If grandma was settled in her chair, the kids could be doing their homework or playing a game in the room, and my husband and I could go outside for a walk or sit on the back porch.

Do you have a family member or neighbor who could keep an eye on the patient for a short time? Check in your community. There are more and more adult daycares popping up. (*Google “adult daycare” and your zip code to find out what’s available in your area.) They are wonderful for dementia patients who are physically active. These weren’t an option for us because of my MIL’s fall risk, but they might work great for you and allow you to have a little downtime, knowing your loved one is safe and in good hands.

Another option might be to hire a companion or CNA for a few hours once a week, especially if you need help with bathing, etc. It allows you to have a break, which is something all caregivers need.

You must have some time to recharge your batteries or it won’t do you or your loved one any good.

Dementia stinks.

I can honestly say that even though some times were very, very difficult, I am truly grateful that we had the privilege of taking care of my mother-in-law for quite a few years.

We were fortunate that she was always compliant, even when she didn’t know who we were and called all of us, even her son, “nurse.”

It was a wonderful opportunity for my children to learn compassion and how to treat others with respect and kindness.

I wouldn’t wish dementia on anyone, but if we had to do it all over again, we definitely would.

I hope you have found these suggestions valuable and that you have found some new tools to make your role as caregiver a bit easier.

So, hang in there, my friend. You are doing an amazing thing!

P.S. Feel free to leave a comment and tell me your dementia caregiver experience.